In a large mixing bowl, combine the softened cream cheese and shredded cheddar until smooth.
Stir in the diced jalapeños, hot sauce, smoked paprika, chili powder, garlic powder, onion powder, cayenne, salt, black pepper, green onions, and bacon if using. Mix until evenly combined.
Shape the mixture into a rough ball. Wrap tightly in plastic wrap.
Wrap rubber bands gently around the wrapped cheeseball to create pumpkin-like ridges.
Refrigerate the cheeseball for at least 2 hours, or until firm. Chill overnight for best results.
Remove the plastic wrap and rubber bands carefully.
Roll the cheeseball in crushed spicy nacho chips or crushed crackers until fully coated.
Place on a serving plate and insert a pretzel rod or pumpkin stem into the top.
Serve with crackers, tortilla chips, or vegetables of your choice.